Falling Deep
by ilikelesbians
Summary: Emily is in her final year at secondary school so GCSE'S are all that are on her mind but when her friends desert her and she begins to hang around with her twin Katie her life changes drastically. Confusion, twists, turns and love swarm over Emily. Will everything turn out as she wants it? Time will tell all.
1. Fitting In

_**So this is my first fan fiction and i haven't really written a story before so criticism is welcome. I have based my story on naomily, my favorite skins couple but basically incorporated the skins cast into my own personal life and what I'm experiencing right now. Me being Emily and the girl I like being Naomi. It will all pretty much be written in Emily's point of view. Anyway I hope you like it:)**_

Fitting In.

I'm Emily Fitch and my life is shit, I thought as I sat staring blankly at the school canteen floor. Being surrounded by 15 odd people and still feeling fucking lonely wasn't exactly a great feeling. I looked around at everyone conversing, laughing and joking, and then there was me sat silently. See I was struggling to find why I still called these people my friends. They never spoke to me, never invited me anywhere, I was just a tag along to them. It all started when my best friend got a boyfriend. Before that I had someone who I could tell everything to and speak to, so mingling into the group was easy, it was easy until Panda decided to fuck off and completely forget about me and instead spend every waking minute with her "blinking dream" Thomas. Now I was just an annoying extra to the rest of them.

After about a month I was completely excluded, no friends, no life and I was incredibly unhappy. I hit a new low and ended up hanging around with my sister, well my twin. If I'm brutally honest I thought I would hate it, Katie always took charge and was center of attention so in my eyes I would still be an outcast just sitting in her shadow, but I was wrong. Well Katie was still queen fucking bee but everyone else was so nice and down to earth plus I fitted in so much better, I had the same music taste and same fashion sense, my old friends were rather tacky and stereotypical "slags" by the rest of the schools standards anyway, another reason why I wanted to get away from them. Anyway I felt the happiest I had in a while just in these few minutes, so comfortable with these (besides cook) almost strangers, well I mean I had seen them around school but they had never acknowledged my existence enough to befriend me.

"Em. Em!" Katie snapped at me. I flinched as her hand waved in my face. I clocked out of my daydream to see everyone looking at me. "You were so bloody zoned out!" she carried on, "wake the fuck up"

"Sorry" I said smirking. Everyone chuckled a little at me. Everyone being my new...well my new friends I guess. There was Cook, who I'd known since primary school, we we're friends until year 9 but he had to move away to his dads, his family we're broken and in crisis so keeping in touch was hard but he was back in Bristol now with his mum and I couldn't be happier. He was dating Effy, she was astonishingly beautiful, somewhat mysterious and cook was crazy about her. Then there was Freddie (freds), Effy's ex, massive stoner but a hell of a guy and everyone loved him, even Effy and him were still great mates despite their past. JJ, bit of a nerd, gets locked on a little but a complete comedian, Katie of course and then Naomi. Naomi was pretty. She had lovely eyes, I found myself staring into them for what could have only been a few seconds but what seemed like minutes. I moved my attention down to her lips. _It would be nice to kiss those,_ I thought to myself… Wait what? Where did that come from? I just thought about kissing a girl, what? That was fucking weird, what the fuck is wrong with me? What? I kept questioning myself.

"Emily...for fuck sake if I invite you to sit with me and _my_ friends at least act like you're on this fucking planet let alone in this bloody room!" Katie hissed at me, pulling me once again out of a daydream.

"Jesus, sorry Katie, I'm just...tired" I mumbled back and turned my head up to meet eyes with Naomi, she gave me a friendly, reassuring smile. I smiled back before putting my head back down to feel my cheeks slightly heat up. I was blushing. Blushing? Why the fuck was I blushing?

I was again pulled out of a small daydream this time not by Katie but by the ringing of the school bell urging us away from our 15min morning break and on to next lesson. We were in year 11, our last year before college so GCSE's were pretty much all that were on my mind, however after bustling along the corridors with my new friends, then arriving and sitting myself down comfortably next to Katie in the chemistry lab, I found that something else was on my mind. Naomi.

_**So that's my first installment. A small chapter I know but it**__**'**__**s more of just a little intro. I hope you enjoyed it so far and my next installment will be on later today or tomorrow:)**_


	2. Preparation

_**Here it is, second installment. We have a party coming up in the next chapter so this is like a little filler before that, gives you a bit of character background etc. though. Hope you like it and again criticism is welcome **_

Preparation

So we were 2 weeks into our final school year, just adjusting to our new teachers, new classes and for me my new friends. The thought of new friends excited me, I liked getting to know them, them getting to know me, sharing our likes and interests and all that jazz. I started hanging out with them properly on weekends, we'd go to the park, eat crap and listen to music and Katie had even decided to let me stay home now when she threw her frequent, locally famous parties. Usually I'd be shipped off to a mate's house and not to be seen.

It was Friday; I was in my least favorite subject, ICT. Normally I'd be highly unhappy and rather bored but tonight Katie was throwing one of _those_ parties and the excitement to party with my new friends, left nothing but a smile on my face. After staring at the clock for the majority of the lesson, the bell rang; I quickly saved my work, shut down my computer and skipped down to the school canteen. I bustled along with the moving crowds, reached the end of the art corridor, climbed 4 small steps and pushed open one of the canteen, double doors. I was met by Katie and Naomi already sat at the table whilst I waved to cook and Effy, in the lunch queue. "Hey" I quickly uttered to them both with a small wave before making my way over to Katie and Naomi. "Em, Em! I saved you at seat" Naomi blabbered smiling. "Here, next to me." A rather large grin appeared over my face as I took the seat next to her. _Wow she likes me. Does she __**like **__me like me or just a friend or?_ Wait what was I thinking? I wasn't even into girls anyway. Jesus she only saved you a seat I thought to myself. I quickly snapped out of my thoughts so I didn't look like an utter twat and engaged in conversation. "So Em...you looking forward to the party?" Naomi questioned. "Yeah, can't wait should be a laugh" I replied. "Good, I'll show you how to party properly!" she spoke back with a wink. I smiled back at her and found myself begin to blush again and turned my head to the floor. Why did this girl make me so bloody nervous and excited all at the same time? She was a girl for god sake.

I raised my head to see Cook and Effy heading for the table whilst I caught a glimpse of JJ and Freds coming in through the doors to follow after Cook and Effy. Freds took the seat at the head of the table, whilst JJ sat opposite me, Effy opposite Naomi and Cook opposite Katie. "Are you bastards ready for tonight then!?" Cook exclaimed, "One more lesson till we can go home and get ready to PARTY!" he bellowed around the canteen. The group unanimously chuckled with Freds answering, "Hell yes mate, got some good stuff to help the celebrations along nicely", "sweet mate, sweet" cook replied with a large grin.

As the party neared, I was somewhat filled with nerves, that and a mix of excitement fluttered inside me. I was worried about all the people that would be there that I didn't know, non-mutual friends that I'd have to introduce myself to, more people I'd hope would like me. Naomi would be there though, that I liked. I threw my thoughts out of my mind and pulled a sandwich from my bag and tucked in as we all ate lunch together over the sound of general chat and conversation. An hour quickly passed and we all headed off to our final lesson of the day, our minds not focusing on our work, more so on getting home to prepare ourselves for tonight. Finally the bell rang and we were free, I bustled with the crowd of people, out of my graphics class, down the corridor, out the doors and to our usual meeting point "the bench" It was in the name really, a bench was all it was, placed at the side of the school just along from the buses. We'd all gather there before and after school to regroup or meet up to walk home. Effy and Naomi were best friends and had been since we'd started year 7, they were also neighbors and I found myself becoming increasingly envious of Effy, she had personal jokes and memories to share with Naomi and I had…Jesus Christ Emily shut up, stop thinking about Naomi fucking obsessive twat, I scolded myself. I was still trying to figure out why I so desperately wanted to be such good friends with Naomi, it bugged me constantly. Anyway Katie and I lived on the estate opposite her and Effy so I got to walk home with them every day. I approached the bench where only Cook was sat perched on the table with his feet resting on the seats. "Alright darling" Cook put his arm around my shoulder as I sat next to him, copying his position. "We'll get you on the pull tonight" he said with a wink, "got a couple of mates from Clifton coming, good looking lads"... "Thanks Cook but I'll pass", I answered with a reassuring smile. He looked a little shocked at my decision but was unable to comment as Katie, Effy and Naomi made their way over to the bench and Cook got to his feet to greet Effy with a kiss. "Ready to make your way home then, we've got some getting ready to do" Naomi questioned me, "yep I'm ready" I said as I hopped up from the bench. "I'm just going into town Em's, get some last minute essentials, I'll see you at home yeh?" "yeh that's cool Katie, see you in a bit" with that Me, Naomi, Cook and Effy turned left down past the school buses to head home whilst Katie turned right out the nearest school gate and walked into town.

The walk home was fun, Cook and Effy walked together in front whilst me and Naomi walked together behind them, it was nice walking with her, we made jokes and chatted back and forth so easily. After a 10 minute walk we reached the end of the long road that our school was situated on, my estate was on the left, Naomi and Effy's on the right. Cook was going back to Effy's as usual so I said good bye to them and we went our separate ways, " see you tonight Ems", "yeh will do Eff, buy guys" I said with a wave to them all and continued along the path that lead to mine and Katie's house. I walked half way up the path and I was home, I pushed my key in the door and stepped inside the empty house. 3 hours to get ready, let's go. Mum and Dad were away at one of dads' monthly fitness conventions, he dragged mum along to spend the weekend looking at the new high end equipment and other sorts of crap for "Fitch Fitness" my dad's business, anyway whilst they were away Katie would always throw a party, hence tonight. James was at Nans house 10 minutes away so me and Katie were left to hold down the fort… I threw my school bag down, ran rapidly upstairs and into my bathroom. I quickly stripped off my clothes pulled open the shower door and emerged myself in relaxing, hot water that flowed over my head and trickled down my back. I wanted to impress tonight, whack out a killer outfit and look my best, what sort of thing should I wear? I had no fucking idea, what would Naomi wear? I quickly washed my hair and before I knew it half an hour had passed, I heard the front door slam shut, Katie was home. I quickly got out the shower so I could have a bit of time in our room we shared to get ready whilst she showered. "Em you better not be in the fucking bathroom, I need to get ready", " I'm not, I've just finished in there, it's all yours" I replied as I scuttled into our room, with the sound of her starting to climb the stairs. I dried myself off and pulled on some underwear then proceeded to stand half naked in front of my wardrobe deciding what to wear. Skirt? Maybe although I'm not much of a skirt person I thought…fuck it, I grabbed my favorite skinny jeans off the rail, pulled them on and teamed it with my sleeveless Deaf Havana t-shirt. I'll just stick to my usual I thought. My jeans hugged tight to my quite petite legs so they were fairly flattering, I just hoped they were flattering enough to impress. "This will do" I said to myself as I looked myself up and down in the mirror before looking over at the clock... 17:03 people would be arriving in 2 hours, just enough time to get ready and have a couple of pre drinks to calm my nerves.

I sat down at my dressing table and began to dry my bright red hair which hung just above my shoulders. It was my favorite asset; the only visible thing that made me different from my twin, Katie's hair was the same as mine except dyed purple. I styled it with my straighteners and left it simple, I didn't want to look too over the top. After a while of faffing Katie burst in the door, flinging towels and clothes around, causing a storm as usual. "What the fuck can I wear Em!?" "I don.." "ohh I'll wear this dress" she interrupted, my opinion was not really wanted. She pulled a tight fitting black dress out of her wardrobe and held it up against herself in the mirror. "I'm going to look fucking ace". Typical Katie I thought, highly un modest. As Katie got herself dressed, I began my makeup. Again I kept things simple, a small amount of foundation, thin eyeliner and a layer of mascara. If I'm honest it was all I had time for with Katie practically pushing me away from the dressing table so she could get ready. I grabbed my phone, checked the time.. 18:17 then proceeded to head downstairs, just enough time for some pre drinks. I raided the kitchen cupboards searching for Mum and Dads hidden alcohol; I worked my way cupboard by cupboard, left to right, top and bottom. "bingo" I spotted an open liter bottle of vodka behind some cans and jars and proceeded to grab a shot glass from the cupboard above my head and pour myself a more than healthy shot of it. I winced as I drunk it straight all the while burning as it crashed against the back of my throat. I slammed the glass on the counter before pouring myself another and repeating my previous actions twice to then screw the cap back on and carefully place the vodka back where I found it hoping no one would notice. I pulled out a bar stool from the kitchen island and sat comfortably, I began to calm a little, half an hour before people would start arriving. I was ready, let's get this party started.

_**So the party is coming, the story will start getting a bit more exciting after that. Hope you enjoyed this chapter although it's only a little filler. I'll try my best to get the part chapter to you a.s.a.p. Please review, I'm a first time writer so criticism and feedback etc. etc. would be a massive help **_


	3. Party Time

_**So this is the first party of the story (yes there will be more) not one of the most exciting ones but a party none the less. I hope you guys enjoy it. Thank you again for the reviews, favourites and follows, you're all gems and I want to kiss all your faces (in a strictly friendly way) anyway happy reading!**_

Katie came downstairs, dolled up as ever, heavy makeup, high heels, the lot. I looked down over myself, jeans, a band tee and black doc martens. Slightly casual I thought but at least I look myself. The doorbell rang; Katie stopped at the ipod dock on her way through the hall and turned the music up to 100% before opening the door to an eagerly awaiting Freddie and JJ. They piled through the front door as loud as ever and slammed 2 cases of beer on the kitchen counter before both cracking one open and downing them. "go on Em, get stuck in" Freds gestured towards the beer. I was already beginning to feel slightly dizzy from my previous vodka shots; I'd be pretty much drunk before everyone had even arrived. _Fuck it_ I thought and grabbed a beer but only to drink steadily, not wanting to copy the boys' previous actions.

The doorbell rang again. "Ems be a babe and get the door" Katie ordered. I hesitantly moved my tipsy self towards the door only to be greeted by Effy, Cook and Cook's _'good looking friends'. "_Hey" I spoke as I greeted them with a smile and stepped aside to let them in. Cook had a huge, cheeky grin plastered on his face and ruffled my hair as he walked through the door; I gained a welcome smile and hello back from Effy and a judgmental look up and down from the lads from Clifton. I downed my beer whilst rolling my eyes at how disgusting they could look at a girl, I turned and slammed the door behind me waiting to hear the familiar noise of it closing but I felt a force stop the door half way. "Oh fuck" were the words I heard from a familiar voice as I saw an arm half in the door, half out. I quickly pulled it back open to apologise to whoever I had just shut in the door and was slightly embarrassed/startled/ excited all in one to see Naomi on the other side. "Trying to get rid of me before I've even joined the party? Charming." Naomi stated sarcastically. "I'm so sorry" I blabbered whilst my right hand covered my mouth. "I had no idea you were there" I continued. "It's fine!" Naomi laughed as she stepped in and pulled me into a friendly hug, "it's nice to see you, even if I am jammed in a door" she spoke to me as she pulled away from our embrace. My cheeks flushed again at Naomi's contact, luckily not to her notice. "You seem pretty tipsy already" she continued as we made our way to the kitchen, "yeah…I had a umm..few drinks beforehand" I stuttered. "Well you'd best get some alcohol for me then Em's! I can't stay sober all night!" I liked the way she shortened my name, I don't know why, I just did. I liked the way it sounded coming from her mouth and rolling off her lips, I could listen to her speak for hours, especially when she was saying my name... "Em, Em!?" Naomi waved her hand in front of my face; I blinked rapidly and looked directly at her. "Jesus you really are fucked all ready, aren't you?" she questioned me whilst giggling. " yeah, I'm the definition of lightweight" I laughed back. "How about that drink then?" "Of course" I replied and reached into the open beer case and pulled out 2 cans. _Jesus Christ Emily you're such a fucking derp, stop zoning out and hold a conversation for fuck sake. _I handed Naomi one of the cans and we both took seats at the kitchen breakfast bar. I noted then how full the house had become, full of people. Most I recognised from school and knew briefly, others I didn't. I sat with Naomi for a bit, sipping on our drinks as we both surveyed who was at the party, she informed me on who the people where I didn't recognise and assured me I'd be mingled in fully and know who everyone was soon enough. "Come on, let's dance" Naomi suggested as we downed the rest of our drinks and she grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room. We Joined Effy and Katie and all swayed in perfect time to the music, our bodies gently brushing against each other's, our inhabitations sinking as the alcohol kicked in and the music drowned out any background noise with its thumping base. I was enjoying myself, dancing with my friends, too drunk to care what anyone thought about me. I watched the way Naomi moved carefree and wonderful; we smiled and giggled as we mimed words of the song to each other, still dancing at the same time. I felt hands reach around my waist and their body move behind me, I tilted my head back, startled to see one of Cooks mates in my personal space, I jumped and pulled away. "Can you not" I snapped. "Jesus, sorry sweetheart, live a little" he spat back before moving his way to the other side of the living room to try it on with some other girl. We'd all stopped dancing. "What are you doing Em's!?, he was well fit!" Katie questioned. "What? I just didn't want him touching me okay?" That's when I got it. That first look from Effy. A slight stare into my soul; her eyes reading me, analysing me. With her eyes on me and Katie's questioning looks at me, I don't know why but I couldn't hack it, I felt embarrassment swarm over me. I turned and headed quickly for the bathroom. I reached the downstairs loo, slammed the door and sat on the toilet with the lid down. I wasn't upset, wasn't really angry, I just felt pressured out there and uncomfortable, the amount of alcohol I had consumed probably didn't help, I needed to get away and clear the fuzziness from my head, just a small break from everything. I heard 3 delicate knocks on the door I was facing. "Hello?" I questioned. "Em, Its Naomi, can I come in?" _shit, shit, get yourself together …_I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples, _"_Yeh… You can come in" Naomi gently pushed the door open and joined me inside the small bathroom, kneeling in front of me with her hands on my knees.. "What was all that about, we were all having fun?" "Oh nothing, just Katie, always trying to hook me up with guys and embarrassing me" I explained. "Yeh, she should let you find a guy in your own time" she reassured. Until then I hadn't really thought about _'finding a guy'_ or getting a boyfriend, I'd certainly never had one and if I'm honest I wasn't as fussed about having one like Katie was. "I honestly couldn't give a fuck about a boyfriend right now" "Me either" Naomi replied with a smile before she stood up and gave me a comforting hug. "You know Em, I don't know where I'd be without you now, you're a perfect party buddy" she said humorously whilst looking at me with a beautiful smile. "Same for you Naoms" I beamed back. She then turned the handle on the toilet door and we both headed for the kitchen.

The Kitchen was full of people, too many people. Naomi guided me through there as we smiled to some of our friends, Sophia one of Effy's mates, she sat with us some lunchtimes and joined us at the park occasionally; Freds and JJ were in there too, they smiled back at us. We made our way into the living room and sat comfortably on the sofas. I sat first then Naomi followed and sat next to me with her legs stretched over my lap, the contact made me shake a little but to my relief it went unnoticed, my heart was beating in my chest and a smile was plastered across my face. We sat like that for the rest of the night, our alcohol consumption let us sit comfortably close to each other, sharing interests, secrets and personal stories, giggling at each other and eventually our heads rested against one another's. Time past extremely quickly as the rest of the guests partied around us, dancing, a few couples kissing,I almost forgot anyone else was in the room whilst in the company of Naomi, she had something special about her, something I couldn't quite put my finger on. I took my phone from my pocket and checked the time, 11:55. It was getting pretty late, as if on que Effy entered the room, "Naoms our taxi will be here in 5, we'd best go wait outside" Naomi slowly swung her legs off of me and we both stood up off of the sofa in unison. "Thank you for having us tonight Ems, the party was really great" "Glad you enjoyed yourself Eff, be sure to thank Katie though, she arranges it all" I replied as me and Effy embraced. "I'll be sure too" Eff ensured. I turned to Naomi, "I'll see you later then" I smiled at Naomi, "Yep, bright and early Monday morning" she replied, reminding us we had sodding school to attend. She threw her arms around me and shared our 3rd hug of the evening. Her and Effy turned with a small wave and exited the living room, I watched until they were gone.

The next half hour was filled with people leaving, a collection of belongings that had been strewn around various places of the house and the muffled sound of Katie saying her goodbyes to her friends I knew a lot less than her. I took this time to briefly clean up. I picked up stray bottles, cans and cups and threw them into a black bag I had in my left hand. I dragged it around throwing away bits and pieces until the house looked as normal as I remembered it, eventually I heard the door close followed by Katie's footsteps who entered the kitchen as I was putting the black bag into the main kitchen bin. "Good job Em, you tidied up better than I ever have" "Thanks" I said and turned to give her a smile. A small silence was cast between us until Katie spoke up. "Sorry for earlier, I didn't mean to embarrass you or anything, it's just you know.. it's about time you had a boyfriend, I don't want you being alone forever", the last bit said with a bit of humour in her tone. "I'm sure I'll be fine Katie, tonight was fun though" I said changing the topic, "You can throw a good party" "Yeh I know" she said with a beaming smile and a shrug of her shoulders. There she went again I thought...the opposite of modest. By now it was almost 1:00am; the alcohol was wearing off and drowning me into its usual sleepy state. "Go on Em, you head off to bed you look knackered" Katie suggested. My exhausted body had no other options but to agree as I nodded and headed for the stairs. I kicked my shoes off in the hall way and began the mountain like climb up the stairs. Once I reached the top I had no energy to climb into my pyjamas, instead I stripped of all my clothes besides my underwear and sleeveless t-shirt and crawled into my bed. My heavy head hit the pillow and mimicked that of a nodding dog; I was extremely tired but found myself unable to sleep. My thoughts went back over the night, the incident with Katie, shutting Naomi in the door, hugging Naomi, talking to Naomi. _Naomi, Naomi, and Naomi_ I thought. All I keep thinking about is Naomi. My mind then switched to the incident with the guy from Clifton. Katie said he was "well fit"; if he was well fit why didn't I have any interest in him, replaying him move his arms around me made me feel sick. My mind flicked back to Naomi and how I felt with her arms around me and how much I wanted to stay that way forever, how much I loved hearing her say my name, how much I loved watching her, how much I loved her eyes and her lips, those lips. How much I wanted to kiss those lips. I shot bolt upright in my bed. I just thought about kissing Naomi again, why was this happening, why was I getting these urges towards Naomi?... I looked around mine and Katie's shared room, we had pictures and posters of our favourite movies stars, models and singers all around the room. Katie's side filled with the likes of David Beckham, John Mayer, Brad Pitt and other muscular men. I looked at my side, the wall closest to me, Katy Perry, Hayley Williams, Kat Von Dee, Charlotte Free among many girls were plastered across my wall, my breath hitched and I began to realise that these attractions I passed off as girl crushes may be a little more. _No?_ No I wouldn't believe it. I sat for 5 minutes trying to think of guys I find attractive, I thought of a couple but it didn't match the feelings I felt towards the female celebrities or any females for that matter. _Shit, shit, shit _I thought as my mind tracked back to Naomi. I like Naomi, I **like, **like Naomi. I threw my head back down on the pillow and covered my face with my hands. How did I not see this coming, I've never liked guys. Now I think of it this has building up for years, since I can track back in my mind yet this still felt like one big smack in the face. I'm gay… I'm gay, I'm gay, I'm gay I kept repeating. My mind was now buzzing, full of thoughts and questions. If I'm honest in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't one big realisation, I had known for years and years that I was attracted to girls, I just never accepted myself or let it click that I was in fact gay. A few salty tears ran down my cheeks and stung my eyes, I blinked hard a few times, turned and buried my face into my pillow before succumbing into my bodies yearn to sleep. My eyes blurred and I feel into well needed slumber. Everything would be okay in the morning.

_**So there's chapter 3, Hope you liked it. It's just the start of the exciting bits of the story so that will get the ball rolling; please review my beauties, much love!**_


	4. The Hangover

**_I've Decided that I'm going to continue with this story now, I've got some ideas together and a bit more time on my hands. Thank you for the reviews. Hope you enjoy and I'll try and update asap:)_**

**_For now, I hope you like this chapter._**

Naomi's hands pushed hard against my shoulders as she slammed me up against the wall. The force hurt my back slightly; I gasped a little as my breath caught in my throat. Before I had time to react anymore, her lips were on mine. She kissed me hard and with passion, our lips moved together perfectly as I slightly opened my mouth to let her tongue slide against my bottom lip. We hungrily attacked each other's mouths, moaning into each kiss, she pulled my bottom lip playfully between her teeth and I closed my eyes and smiled against her mouth.

Suddenly my eyes snapped open, I wasn't pressed up against the wall and Naomi was gone. I was lying in my bed just as I was 7 hours ago. My head was fuzzy and a solid beat repeatedly pounded through my skull. I clenched my forehead with my hand and scrunched my eyes together; I choked slightly as my brain registered how dry my mouth was. I grabbed my phone from under my pillow and squinted to see the time 8:15.

"Ugh" I groaned and slammed my head back down on to the pillow. I scrunched my eyes up, begging my body to let me drift back into sleep and back to my dream with Naomi. It didn't work.

My stomach sunk when I proceeded to lie there and think back over the events of last night. "I like Naomi" I whispered to myself in dis belief, the very same words I was repeating as I fell into slumber last night. The thought made my head spin a little, It was all so confusing. We had fun though. Me and Naomi spent practically the whole night together, I liked that, I liked spending time with her and right now that's all I was going to focus on.

I dragged myself out of bed; my body wasn't going to let me get any more sleep. I looked over at Katie, still out like a light. I tip toed out of our bedroom and headed downstairs, still in just my t-shirt from the night before. Downstairs wasn't that much of a mess plus we still had till tomorrow until Mum and Dad were home so we could cover up any evidence of a party by then.

I grabbed a glass out of the cupboard, moved over to the fridge and poured myself a glass of orange juice. The liquid soothed me as it ran down my throat. I took a seat at the breakfast bar and rested my chin in my hands, thinking, going over thoughts, re tracking events from last night over again in my head. All I could think about was Naomi; I really liked her, really, really liked her, all I wanted was Monday morning so I could be back at school and in her company again. I normally hated school but Naomi made it brighter, if she was there then I wanted to be there too, I wanted to be wherever she was, she has some sort of hold on me.

I spent the majority of the day lazing around, checking my twitter, checking my phone, eating junk and watching TV. Katie spent it cleaning when she eventually woke up, she offered to since I cleaned most up last night. After a good half hour Katie had finished cleaning the whole house and it looked as perfect as it did when mum and dad had left. We spent the rest of our Saturday as I did the morning, lazing about on the sofa's, unable and certainly not wanting to move due to awful hangovers. I looked at the clock, it was quarter to seven already. Days seem to fly by when you spend them doing nothing.

"I'm Starving" Katie moaned. "yeah me too, shall we order some food in?" I questioned. We hadn't eaten a proper meal since Mum's stew she cooked Thursday night and even then I beg to differ as whether that could be called a meal, so me and Katie ordered as much food from the local Chinese as we thought we could manage. Me and Katie rarely did things together at all so it was kind of nice, as much as I didn't like her at times, she was still my twin.

We were halfway through our Chinese, munching on noodles and chicken when Katie dropped a topic of conversation I would have liked to steer clear from. "Did you know Em's… about Sophia?...she's a lesbian! I mean how gross is that right!? She blurted it out whilst she was drunk last night!"

"Oh" I replied plainly.

"Oh? Do you not find it weird?"

"No, people can't help who they're attracted to or who they fall in love with Katie" I snapped back. "You need to open up your mind"

She paused for a couple of seconds. "I guess you're right… but still it's all a bit weird to me.

"Whatever Katie" I signed. She seemed to no longer be having a conversation with me but rather talking at me, completing ignoring what I said.

"You know who else I think is a dyke!? Naomi. I mean she screams it don't you think?. I've always had my suspicions about her. Don't spend too much time with her; I don't want people to get the wrong idea about you. We've got a Fitch reputation to up hold"

"oh fuck off Katie!" I yelled as I leaped up from the living room floor and stormed up to our bedroom. I couldn't stand being in the same room as her as she made all these horrible comments and remarks, especially when they were about Naomi.

"What bitch!? Why are you so bothered, what the fuck did I say!?" she said looking up with a puzzled look on her face... "oh fuck you right back, over sensitive cow" she yelled after me. I'm glad she dropped it and didn't question me. I guess, to anyone who didn't know my feelings towards Naomi or the fact I no longer had any idea what my sexual orientation was, it would have seemed like a bit of an overreaction but I just couldn't stand Katie in that moment. She can be so narrow minded sometimes that it winds me up to the point of wanting to punch her square in the face.

I was actually quite shocked that Sophia was gay, she didn't seem it. Well I guess I'd never really paid attention but she wasn't what you would call a "stereotypical lesbian" and she was a hell of a lot girlier than me. I was more like Naomi, casual clothes, minimal makeup, just made myself look presentable and nice. Katie said Naomi screamed gay though. I couldn't help but let this put a brief smile on my face, a chance that Naomi liked girls was a chance that she might like me. But if Naomi screams gay then do I? Am I even gay? I just like one girl, that doesn't mean anything right? Thoughts continued to race through my mind as I lay in a foetal position on my bed. I'd never thought about liking girls before now, I just presumed that I liked guys like everyone else. I sat myself on the edge of my bed and looked around my room again and at the pictures on the walls just like I had last night. I looked at Katie's pictures then to my pictures, back and forth, again and again. It sunk in once more that maybe my celebrity crushes weren't just girl crushes, they were the only crushes I'd ever had, and all of them were women. I'd never found myself drawn to any man or boy ever, celebrity or not and I started to again piece together why. I must be gay, but I can't be, I'm just a normal 16 year old girl, I can't be gay... But I am. It's all coming together now. When I think back to when I was younger, obsessing over Avril Lavigne and other pop stars, fancying mine and Katie's year 4 teacher and being mesmerized by Hollywood actresses.

I felt so confused, stupid and angry. How come I'd never realised before? Maybe it's just a phase. I kept trying to convince myself that I couldn't possibly be gay but I knew in my heart I was. The feelings I'd experienced and my lack of interest in boys all made sense. I was scared, confused and began to shake. I returned to my foetal position and let small tears run slowly down my face. I stayed there for the rest of the night, quietly sobbing, letting the tears run like rain down a window, quietly sniffing and catching my breath every few minutes.

After a while I heard Katie start to climb the stairs. I quickly pulled myself under my covers and pretended to be asleep as she entered the room and climbed into her own bed before falling into quiet slumber. I lay there silently for what felt like hours, an emotionless face buried into my pillow but one that was still being drenched with the sting of salty, dripping tears. The room felt so silent I could almost hear the drops hit my face. I didn't wipe them away, I barely even blinked at all, I just let them roll down my face until the sting around my eyes was enough to send me into well needed sleep.

I awoke the next morning, my face sore from last night's tears. My whole body ached; I wanted to sleep all day and forget the confusing reality I had to face. After checking the time on my phone, seeing it was 10.32am and burying my head back into my pillow, I closed my eyes again and tried to forget everything. My body relaxed and my head started to soothe when a boom startled my eyes back open. Katie came charging in the room, dressed in nothing but two towels; one around her head and one around the width of her torso. "Em get the fuck up, we have to go get James from Nans house"

I rolled over to face Katie "It's only half 10 Katie, plus Mum and Dad aren't even back from the convention until 1 and they could get him on the way home" I managed to slur out. Katie looked me up and down as I lay rested on my elbows.

"Jesus Christ, you look like shit" Katie almost hissed at me.

"Oh… I must be coming down with something, a cold maybe" I protested, somewhat unconvincingly.

"Whatever, Nan has knitting group and needs James gone by 12 so get ready and stay away from me with your fucking lurgies"

I rolled my eyes and dragged myself out of bed and out of the room while Katie fussed about in the bedroom. Why couldn't she just go get James herself, it's always everything together for me and Katie. Eat together, sleep in the same room together. Up until we were 9 we still took a dump at the same time. I'll always be Katie's little shadow and I guess I'll just have to deal with that even more so now that I'm in her friendship group. I sighed and got in the shower letting the water flow over my face and down my back. The hot water soothed my aches and I began to feel slightly better. Maybe it was a good idea to get up and revive myself rather than stay in bed all day. By the time I got out the shower it was 10:47. I trudged back into our room and Katie was practically ready. "Hurry up Emily, we need to leave in half an hour, I'll be downstairs waiting" and with that Katie left me and our bedroom alone. I roughly dried my hair and put on minimal make up. We were only going to Nans house so there was no need to fuss. I pulled on my jeans and a baggy t-shirt and teamed it with my converses before heading downstairs to join Katie. She practically dragged me out the door and we began the short 10 minute walk to Nans house.

My Nan was a warm, kind lady, about an inch smaller than me with short permed grey hair and the typical, slightly wrinkled skin of a 70 year old woman. Not much like my mum. My mum was homophobic, racist, every type of discriminator under the sun really. My Nan was different, she had such an open mind and even just a smile from her would reassure you and make you feel at ease. I was glad we were going to see her today, I'm sure she would make me feel better. Anyway we say "Nans House" but really it's a bungalow on a tiny, quiet street about a minute away from the park we all tend to hang out at. Its perimeter is lined with a small, picket fence and a small concrete pathway leads up to a cute, red, wooden door. Katie gave three timid knocks on the door and then stood back in line with me as we both waited for the door to be answered. I was disappointed but only for a moment when I didn't see Nan's face open the door but James' instead. "Get out the way dickhead" Katie said as she pushed through James with her hand on his head, he stumbled backwards into the small hallway, making room for me and Katie to enter the bungalow. "Oi bitch!" James shouted after Katie.

"I'll have none of that language from you young man or I'll make sure you're in your parents bad books for months!" was the reply from my Nan that seemed to echo from the kitchen. It made me smile just hearing her voice. Even when telling James off, I say telling off but she wasn't really scary at all, even James knew that. She just gave him little reminders to not be such a little shit and then he'd behave. That's what I liked about Nan the most, so warm and loving but not a complete push over so you'd respect her enough to never be on the wrong side of her, even though I always really thought there could be no wrong side to my Nan. Me and Katie followed the sound of her voice into the kitchen where she simultaneously embraced us both into her small frame, I felt us both squirm a little but not to the notice of my Nan. "How are you girls?" she said beaming at us both.

"Fine" me and Katie both replied in unison.

"Don't go doing that weird twin connection thing with me you girls, freaks me out it does!" she joked with us in her broad Bristol accent. "Now go and join James in the living room, we've got time for a cuppa and a catch up before my knitting group get here" Me and Katie followed orders and went through to make ourselves comfortable on the sofas. Nan's bungalow was old fashioned but adorably homely and comforting. The sofa's mimicked that of a 1940's home along with the clutter of photo frames and ornaments she had neatly placed around it, all finished off with net curtains and drapes in every window. It had a distinct smell too, a smell that my nan carried with her, a mixture of brewing tea, dust and old Dior perfume. Katie hated the smell but to me it was "Nan's smell" and everything about Nan made me feel at ease. James was sat as close to the old TV set as I deemed humanly possible when Nan pottered into the living room, equipped with a tray of tea in old fashioned china and a plate of bourbon biscuits. She sat the tray on a small coffee table that stood in the middle of the room on a thick Persian rug and passed the tea around before settling herself down in her emerald green, velvet arm chair, cup and saucer in one hand, bourbon biscuit in the other. She tucked her knee length skirt under herself and sat so she was comfortable.

"So Katie, are you still with that Danny lad?" My Nan questioned. Danny was Katie's boyfriend. He played football for Bristol Rovers reserves. He was absolute shit and you could tell he was cheating on Katie, but she acted as if she didn't know or didn't care. Being a Z list celeb was enough for Katie to be satisfied with.

"Yeh, of course Nan, we're proper serious" Katie beamed back at Nan. I laughed a little at Katie's remark and choked on my tea simultaneously.

"What are you laughing at!?" Katie snapped at me.

"Oh.. umm nothing, I just choked on my tea" I stuttered back whilst smirking at my Nan and in turn received an equally humoured look back.

"What about you Em's? Got a boyfriend yourself yet?" My Nan innocently asked.

"Oh no, I'm not really too bothered abo..

"BORING more like!" Katie interrupted. "I keep telling her she needs a boyfriend Nan but she won't listen" Katie blabbered "You might as well join a convent the way you're going" she sniggered at me.

"Yeah? Well at least I'm not a slut Katie" I hissed back at her which caught the attention of James who managed to focus his head away from the TV for more than a minute to begin chanting "fight, fight, fight!" I stormed to the kitchen in a fit of a rage and focused myself on washing up my tea cup. I heard my Nan get out of the chair and slap James on the back of the head before slowly entering the kitchen. I placed the cup on the draining board by the sink and turned to face my Nan with a shy and embarrassed look on my face. "Come here sweetheart" My Nan reassured whilst pulling me into a hug. "If you don't want a boyfriend yet then don't have one, just don't listen to Katie okay? Always do what's best for you in life, remember that." I nodded my head and gave my Nan a timid smile. I always thought her words of wisdom should be written down in a book somewhere. She seemed to always know what to say to make people feel better. She patted my arm and headed back to the living room. "Love you honey" she turned and mouthed to me.

"Love you too Nan" I replied.

"Right! You guys had best be off, my knitting group will be here in 10 minutes" I heard my Nan say. I walked back into the living room and Katie and James were on their feet. We all said our goodbyes to Nan as she showed us to the door and then began our walk back home. Me and Katie walked ahead whilst James dragged his feet behind us. "You know I don't mean to sound horrible to you all the time Ems but I don't want you to be a loner, you should at least try and get a boyfriend or something" I wasn't mean to Katie at this point, I could tell she was sorry for how she acted at Nans and was trying to be nice. I just made sure what I said would keep her happy and off my case "I'm just not that bothered about a boyfriend right now okay? No big deal. We have our GCSE's to focus on and that's what I'm doing" I said to Katie with a smile.

"Alright then" she said playfully shoving me. "But once summer comes, we are getting you a boyfriend okay!?" I rolled my eyes and lied through my teeth.

"Okay"

"James hurry the fuck up!" me and Katie both shouted behind us in unison before laughing together and enjoying the rest of our walk home in happy conversation.

It didn't seem like we'd been home 5 minutes when Mum and Dad pulled up outside in the car. Me and Katie made sure everything was in place as it was before opening the door to them. "Hello my sweethearts" my Mum said as she embraced us both. "Hope you haven't been to lonely just the two of you?"

"No we've been fine" I replied.

"Good, where's James? Was he good for your grandmother?"

"Upstairs on his PlayStation, he was fine, 'good as gold' " Katie Answered

"Okay well go help your dad put his new equipment in the garage and then I'll make us all a nice Sunday lunch" Me and Katie groaned but followed our orders anyway. The words "Sunday Lunch" rung in my ears and as I headed outside to help Dad, I realised. Tomorrow is Monday, Monday means school and school means Naomi. I chirped up a little then. Who cares whether I'm gay, straight or bi. Whatever. All I knew right then is that I liked Naomi and I wanted Naomi to like me back. That was it; I was taking a plunge into the unknown world of chasing a girl. Fuck boyfriends I thought to myself, I wanted Naomi. I was excited with the prospect of what tomorrow may bring and for the first time since year four I was excited to go to school.


End file.
